Each person is capable of getting in their own way. Self-sabotage embodies exactly that: getting in your own way on purpose or sabotaging yourself.
Why does this happen?
- Some people self-sabotage because they are afraid of failing, and if they get in their own way to avoid the final outcome, they won’t have to face potential failure
- Some people self-sabotage because they are uncomfortable with the unknown and want to revert to something more comfortable, even if it is harmful
- Some people have poor self-esteem
- Some people have negative learned behaviorsÂ
- Some people have resolved trauma
No matter the reason, there are steps that can be taken to avoid it.
How to Avoid Self-Sabotage in Recovery
Studies have revealed that no matter your circumstance, one effective way to avoid self-sabotage in recovery is to:
- Take time for self-reflection
- Get support from mentors and those around you
- Practice mindfulness
- Set goals
- Use therapy techniques to challenge negative thoughtsÂ
Self-Reflection
When you reflect on your life, your situation, your decisions, and your thoughts, you can learn to recognize self-defeating and self-destructive patterns. These are ways of thinking and behaving that make you less inclined to do the things you want and make your life more challenging.Â
During times of reflection, you can take note of whether you have such thoughts or actions. If you are in an outpatient treatment program, you will have support from those around you in dedicating time for this self-reflection, such as during:
- Nightly journaling
- Group therapy sessions
- CBT homework from individual therapy sessions
When starting out, self-reflection time might simply provide an opportunity for you to pay attention to the situations that lead to your self sabotaging behaviors. This might reveal certain triggers so that you are able to develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Getting Support
Getting support through therapy, friends, and family can play an essential role in avoiding self-sabotage and recovery. Connecting with friends when you need a little bit of encouragement or family members when you need someone to hold you accountable can ensure that you don’t start behaving in such a way that gets in your own way.
Family and friends might know some of these patterns just as well as you do, especially if they are learned behaviors shared within family members.
Open communication with those around you about your struggles and your challenges will help you get better guidance on avoiding self sabotage. Participation in your support group meetings will help you learn from others.
Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you stay focused on the present moment so that negative thoughts don’t interfere with your actions. For example, in recovery, you might be making great progress by participating in sober activities and attending your support groups, but subtle self-destruction and self-sabotage might mean scheduling something in such a way that you know you won’t be able to go to those pleasurable activities because you are depressed and then losing out on all of the benefits they provide.
Setting Goals
During treatment, setting goals can help you achieve your tasks without getting in your own way. If you set goals that are too big, you can self-sabotage intentionally. That is why we teach you to divide goals into realistic, achievable steps, practice patience while you are going through those steps, and celebrate each accomplishment.
Challenging Negative Thoughts
Many of the reasons that people self-sabotage have to do with specific causes like unresolved trauma or negative self-talk.
When you participate in therapy at our facility, you will start to recognize your automatic negative thoughts and beliefs that have to do with your worth or ability. From there you can learn to reframe those negative thoughts and practice positive self talk so that you have a deeper, more profound belief in your capabilities and your self worth.
With the right treatment plan, you can get access to these tools and more.
Getting Help with Ritual Recovery
At Ritual Recovery, we know how easy it is to fall victim to self-sabotage. That is why our upscale facilities and teamwork provide a personal path to recovery that includes immersive, evidence-based therapy.
Individual and group therapy sessions are designed to address underlying causes of addiction, personal triggers, and other important information that can arm you with defensive tools against self-sabotage.
Our PHP, IOP, and traditional outpatient programs can help you avoid self-sabotage, whether treating drug addiction, alcoholism, or co-occurring disorders.Â
FAQs
Does CBT help with self-sabotage in recovery?
Absolutely! In fact, cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the best evidence-based treatment plans to help you identify negative self-talk and overcome things like poor self-esteem that might be leading to self-sabotage.
Should I go to therapy for self-sabotaging in recovery?
Whether you have completed a drug or alcohol treatment program in the past or you are in the first stages of your recovery, going to therapy can be very useful in resolving personal causes of self-sabotage, recognizing triggers, and developing useful coping mechanisms.Â
How do you get out of a self-sabotage loop?
If you are stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, it’s important that you recognize that behavior and be honest with yourself and those around you. The people around you want you to succeed, and they can only do this if they understand what you are going through.
You also need to learn how to recognize your triggers and be patient and loving with yourself even when you recognize these behaviors. Consider how you might respond to a loved one if they came to you and admitted that they were stuck in a cycle and they hated themselves for it; offer the same kind of compassionate words to them that you would to yourself.
Use steps like positive habits, seeking support, and setting realistic goals to break that cycle.Â
Are self-destruction and self-sabotage the same?
Yes, these are often considered the same. self-defeating behaviors, self-destruction, and self-sabotage all represent thoughts and actions that can become a pattern and lead to detrimental impacts on your life. This can be something as simple as expecting to get over an addiction without facing it or pulling back from activities you know are healthy and beneficial when you get depressed.
What is the solution for self-sabotage?
There are many behaviors and thoughts associated with self-sabotage and they come from different places. The most essential step in overcoming self-sabotage and recovery is to be self-aware, take the time to reflect on your behaviors and be willing to ask for help where necessary.
With support from those around you, you can develop healthy coping mechanisms, deal with underlying trauma, or replace negative learned behaviors.Â
How do you forgive yourself for self-sabotaging?
If you have caught yourself self-sabotaging in recovery or in the past, recognize that you’ve made that mistake and treat yourself with kindness. Overcoming self-sabotage can take a long time and a lot of practice, especially if it stems from unresolved trauma, learned behaviors, and poor self-esteem.
Look at this opportunity as a chance to grow and learn from your mistakes, rather than a failure. If necessary, practice mindfulness to overcome negative self-talk, reach out to your support system, and start to break down your future goals so that you can move forward.
